Monday, November 17, 2008

Mission Impossible

When I moved to Florida, I was given one task: monitor Whitney's purchasing of tacky Disney products to prevent a home over-run by cluttered Mickey memorabilia. Since Whitney's first day at work, Disney has successfully initiated her into the Disney culture, sprinkling their magical consumerist pixie dust all over her. And that shit doesn't come out. After every theme park visit, she drones on and on about ultra soft plush Pooh bears, five foot graphic Tinker Bell canvases in lime green and turquoise blue, bejeweled replicas of Cinderella's castle for the reasonable price of a luxury SUV... the force is strong in this one. Sadly, I am not joking.

Tired of going to the Disney parks every waking hour, I politely declined the most recent invitation to Epcot. Big mistake!! They came home with 1, 2, 3, FOUR shopping bags and goofy grins plastered on their faces... "Christmas presents for all," they claimed. Proudly bragging about all the "deals" she found, Whitney showcased her purchases... saving the "Best" (read Worst) for last.

"And look what we got for ourselves! Don't you love it?"

Puke! It was a 4'x5' woven throw which now adorns our sofa.
Let me describe what it's not. It is not classy. It is not tasteful. It is not expensive. It is not acceptable! You be the judge...

Please join me in chiding Whitney and Matt. It's for their own good... so next time they'll think twice.

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