Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Jelly Bean Imposters

Every now and then it dawns on me that I'm not a kid anymore, that there exists a whole "other world" that I've become increasingly removed from. A world of tiny green leprechauns and magical tooth fairies, holidays where brightly colored candy is delivered by a white rabbit. As my niece gets older I'll probably feel that immediate connection again but for now I have to be reminded of it by the changing candy aisle at the grocery store.

The great thing about being an adult is that you're the one buying the candy. The Easter Bunny can't bring you something you don't like because YOU ARE the Easter Bunny. You don't get stuck with the duds, trying to barter your way to an appealing stash. I'll trade you one Cadburry Egg for two Peeps plus one Hershey Kiss. You're no longer subjected to those neighbors who hand out apples on Halloween. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Or so you think.

I'm not one to buy lots of candy (I get plenty of sugar when I go to Starbucks) but I do allow myself a bag of my special holiday favorites. Because come on, it will be a whole year until you see that bag of candy corn on the shelf again. So here's the deal, I was browsing the produce when I spotted a display of jelly beans. Yes, I said produce. I wasn't even IN the candy aisle because I shop the perimeter like THEY tell me to do. ;) But those sneaky merchandisers set those jelly beans out in broad daylight...rather...bright fluorescent lighting and they beckoned me nearer. And I made the purchase.

As soon as I got home and unloaded the groceries I popped open the container of the seemingly innocent jellies and picked out a green one and took a big bite. AND IT TASTED LIKE SPEARMINT GUM. It's quite alarming when expectations are so far removed from reality. REALLY PEOPLE!? Go ahead and eat your Jelly Bellies with all of those WEIRD flavors but I'll stick to the traditional flavor of REAL jelly beans, thank you very much. At least Jelly Bellies are visually different so you can distinguish them from others. But these looked normal. In disbelief I grabbed the clear container and looked at the small label that read "Spiced Jelly Beans." SPICED. Ugh.

I am so NOT IN CONTROL. At least they look pretty.

Maybe I can find some kids to pawn them off on. ;)


The Flaming Maiden said...

Oh dear Katie,

Please don't every leave the magical world of fat men in red, fairies, and leprechauns.

I think the proof is that they switched your Jelly beans!


Katie said...

Oh, I believe in magic!
...just need to be reminded every now and then. ;)

Will we see you all on Sunday??